How To Borrow With Confidence By Untangling And Unlearning Debt Avoidance

Photography by Getty Images; Illustration by Bankrate

Debt avoidance is the habit of refusing to consider or engage with borrowing — even when it may be strategic — due to fear, shame, misinformation or a combination of the three.

Avoidance typically is not just a personal preference, it’s often a survival strategy passed down through generations. Maybe you saw loved ones overwhelmed by credit card bills, experience bankruptcy or carry shame from their student loan debt. For many first-generation wealth builders, cultural values and early financial trauma make debt feel dangerous, even when it could be a useful tool.

But just like any habit, debt avoidance can be unlearned over time. And when you shift from fear to understanding, you can gain the clarity to make debt a strategic part of your wealth-building plan.

Step 1: Get curious about your debt story

You can’t change what you don’t understand — and that includes your relationship with debt. Your beliefs about borrowing didn’t just appear out of nowhere. They’ve likely been shaped by your family’s values, cultural background, religious teachings and past financial experiences.

Debt avoidance may have protected you from self-criticism, financial harm or emotional overwhelm. But only you can decide whether it’s still serving you today.

Step 2: Practice financial neutrality

If thinking about debt makes your heart race, freeze or shut down, it’s time to shift how you relate to it. Start by practicing financial neutrality — a mindset where debt is just viewed as data, not a moral failure.

Pull your credit report from Annualcreditreport.com to get a list of your current debt balances and borrowing history. As you review it, notice your thoughts. Instead of thinking “This is so much debt,” try “I have $32,553.29 in debt.” Numbers are neutral — treat them as data, not judgment.

Once you’ve reviewed your report, expand your financial literacy.

Step 3: Create a weekly money ritual

To build self-trust around leveraging debt, consistency is key. Set aside 15 to 30 minutes for a money check-in. Think of this as a date with your future, debt-confident self.

During this time, you can:

• Review your monthly spending and current savings.
• Revisit your short- and long-term financial goals.
• Explore how interest rates and loan terms affect repayment plans.
• Run mock debt scenarios, such as how you would pay off money borrowed to pursue a certificate.

Step 4: Borrow intentionally, not avoidantly

Whether you’ve been debt-free for a while or are still carrying balances, the idea of borrowing again can feel daunting. But avoiding debt altogether can limit your financial flexibility and prevent you from building a sustainable debt payoff plan.

Instead of automatically defaulting to avoidance, aim to borrow with intention. Before taking on new debt, ask yourself:

• Will this debt increase my income, joy or long-term security?
• What’s my repayment strategy?
• How much am I willing to pay in interest over time?
• Am I making this choice from fear or from alignment with my values and financial goals?

You’re not failing if you borrow

Debt can be neutral.

That might feel strange to read — especially if you’ve only ever associated debt with danger, stress or failure. But debt is, at the end of the day, a tool. And the more you understand how it works, the less control it holds over your nervous system.

Your thoughts about debt will shape how you engage with it. When you begin using interest calculators and thinking through your borrowing decisions in advance, interest becomes what it truly is: a service charge. And like any service, it can be evaluated, minimized and planned.

This doesn’t mean you have to enjoy being in debt. But you also don’t need to fear it.

Unlearning debt avoidance doesn’t happen overnight. But with time, tools and compassion, you can build the self-trust needed to borrow with intention and build wealth on your terms.